I guess you could say it's just one of those days. I feel like nothing matters anymore. That all of this isn't even worth it. I'm not good enough and I never will be. The holiday's screwed up my fast big time. And my knee is giving me hell so it's hard to exercise without exerting it. I've been doing a lot of mindless eating. I don't even think I just shove it all in my mouth. And then I feel so guilty that I purge. I haven't dared so much as to step on the scale. That will only send me plummeting even lower. I just need someone to make me laugh. Like honestly laugh. Not a fake one. I want someone to make me smile instead of cry. I just need to have fun for a change. I'm not sure how to go about this, so what I'm asking for is an Ana buddy. One that is going to stick with me through this all. I've had multiple Ana buddies but I don't talk to them anymore because they've lost communication. I want someone that I'll be able to talk to on a daily basis. Whether it's through text, email, aim or even youtube. I just need someone that I can go to when I feel like this. Because I can't talk to my so called "friends". None of them would really understand any of this and why I'm doing it. But one look at me and you would know why. I'm what they call a Grade A FATASS. And that has got to change. So if you would like to help me out with the Ana buddy,
please email me at rememberxraven@yahoo.com (: thanks girls.
Stay Strong
Starve On!
xoxoRaven